Like broken glass
by Phoenix.G.Fawkes
Summary: “Certain things cannot be repaired. They shatter, like broken glass”. Spike and Dru once met a bunch of Death Eaters. Years later, he runs into one of them and dark memories come to haunt them both.


**Disclaimer**: Whedon and Rowling own it all. I've just borrowed them for fun.

**Summary**: _"Certain things cannot be repaired. They shatter, like broken glass"_. Spike and Dru once met a bunch of Death Eaters. Years later, he runs into one of them and dark memories come to surface to haunt them.

**Rating**: R, for torture.

**Genre**: Angst.

**Spoilers:** Order of the Phoenix, Season Seven.

* * *

**Like Broken Glass**

'Come on, Spike, or we are gonna be late!'

Willow was frantic. The vampire had to repress a smirk. One would have thought that after four months of teaching at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry she would feel a little more confident, but she seemed as nervous as she had been on her first day. He smiled in the dark. She had changed a lot since he had kidnapped her when they first met, but she was still shy and insecure inside.

They were walking fast, almost running, and the window-less hallways passed in a blur. Maybe because none of them was paying attention to their surroundings, Willow ran into a greasy haired guy, nearly making him to drop all his papers, and Spike wasn't fast enough to stop her.

'Oh, Professor Snape, I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking, are you hurt? May I help you?'

Spike decided this man wasn't the polite type. He snapped at her that he needed no help and almost growled when she handed him one of his papers. The vampire scowled. Who did this bastard thought he was to treat Red that way? And then he remembered. This one had to be the moron who hated her because he wanted her position as the Defence Against Dark Arts teacher.

'Look, it was an accident. Don't growl at her, mate, 'cause you don't want to see me mad.'

Willow looked horrified, and a sneer formed on Snape's greasy face, but then something weird happened. When he looked at Spike, his annoyed glare suddenly turned into something else. A look he knew too well: horror. Wow, he still had it even with a soul and all, and he hadn't even put on his game face!

The wizard's face quickly returned to an unreadable mask.

'So this is him?'

'Oh, hmm, yeah. Spike, this is Professor Snape; Professor, this is Spike.'

The man looked anywhere but at Spike, who had begun to have an odd feeling about this.

'I still don't see how come he was allowed to get in here.'

Willow's nervousness turned into irritation.

'I thought that a lesson about vampires would be much better with a real vampire in it. And Professor Dumbledore thought it was a great idea.'

Snape looked as if he seriously thought that Dumbledore should go to a shrink or whatever they called them in the wizarding world. He was still not looking at Spike. Something was wrong. Yeah, most people tended to freak out around vamps, but this one had been scared before knowing who he was. Or maybe he had smelt him? Ridiculous. Wizards didn't have such powers.

Then why he was so scared, and why the vampire had the uneasy feeling he should know the answer? And there was something oddly familiar about him…and he smelt funny, probably because he didn't seem to have washed his hair in years.

'Well, Professor, we have to go if we don't want to be late', Willow said coolly.

'Oh, sure. And Rosemberg' He gave her a sarcastic smile 'Good luck.'

And something in that smile made Spike shiver. Bloody hell. It hadn't been just horror what he saw in Snape's eyes.

It had been recognition.

When he passed next to him, he grabbed his arm and looked him into the eye:

'1979, New Year's Eve, London. It was you, wasn't it?'

Snape jumped, his sardonic smile disappearing and his eyes widening. And when Spike looked into those black and hollow orbs, and the smell of his hair was stronger than ever, he got his answer.

The wizard got free from his grip, and walked away, almost running. Spike's mind was completely in blank, until Willow exclaimed:

'What on earth is going on?'

--------

'Where did you meet Snape before?'

Red had been all afternoon and evening like this. She had started with the questioning as soon as they had left the classroom and she hadn't stopped. Spike's head was going to explode.

'What do _you_ know about Snape?', he demanded. She looked a little taken aback.

'Well', she said, lowering her voice, 'he used to work for Voldemort. You know, the magical Hitler' He nodded. He knew more about him than she could imagine. 'But he switched sides a while before his downfall, and he's been working as a spy for our side ever since. And he's a jerk.'

Spike looked at his glass as if he found the smoking whisky extremely interesting. They were at The Three Broomsticks (even Hogwarts teachers had a night off every now and then and besides, Spike had refused to share a meal with a thousand magical teenagers) which was pretty deserted as it was a school night. Besides, most wizards didn't want to be outside after dark these days, with Voldemot's gang wreaking havoc everywhere.

When he could no longer pretend he found his glass' contents fascinating, he risked a glance at her. She watched him impatiently.

'You really don't want to hear it' he growled. She let out a little sneer, not as sardonic as Snape's but close enough.

'Come on, Spike, I've already heard most of your horror tales. And I was evil girl once, remember?'

It took her another ten minutes to convince him. Sighing, he finally decided to tell her.

'It's not a nice story, though. Don't say I didn't warn you.'

He took an unnecessary gulp of air and began his tale.

'It was 1979, I think…yes, it was, I remember it had been the second anniversary of Nikki Wood's murder because Dru wanted to throw a party on my honour…and you really, really don't want to know how that ended up.

We were in England because we had heard the rumours of the evil running there (yeah, your dear Voldemort) and we thought it'd be fun, and it was. Hey, don't look at me like that, Red, I was evil and soulless at the time, remember? So, we were in London, hanging out with other vamps and having fun. Occasionally we ran into a couple of those dark wizards with the funny name (Death Eaters, you say? Bloody hell, what kind of a lame name is that?) but we didn't fancy them too much. They believed they were above us and they were obsessed with serving their master. I'd never served anyone and I wasn't in the mood to start doing it, so we stayed away from them even if I admired some of the stuff they did. They were quite imaginative. And twisted, of course.

However, the last night of the year we heard they were throwing a party. It was nothing special, not like Voldemort was going to be there, so they let vampires and other folk to attend. Well, actually they didn't, but after I broke one of the guard's legs they let us stay.

There was this girl with whom Dru got along at once. I remember her quite well. She wasn't wearing a mask, unlike most of the folk there, so I could see her face. She was beautiful in a haunting way, with her long, dark hair, and her deep black eyes. Everyone stared at her, men and women. But what I remember the most is her laugh. It sent shivers down your spine, and I was evil. She wasn't a nutter like Dru, but she certainly was a psycho.

And he was there, too. Can you believe his hair was exactly the same as it is now? Not visited the hairdresser too often, has he? Well, as I was saying, Dru had made a new friend…'

----

Spike lit a cigarette and took a look around. They were in a long and dark basement, lighted by a few torches and with some large cushions and couches on the earthy floor. Music was sounding somewhere, music he'd never heard before. Not _The Beatles_, certainly. Also, there was a small bar at one corner which, funny thing, never went short of drinks. As soon as one bottle was emptied, another one took its place.

It was packed with people, all wearing black and most of them covering their faces with white masks and hoods. The smell of blood was haunting but he knew better than try to feed from one of those guys. He'd probably not live enough to tell the tale, so he kept drinking this weird whisky that burnt pleasantly all the way down his throat.

He searched for his Princess and found her in the middle of the room, chatting excitedly with a dark haired witch who looked like her younger sister. In fact, they were so much alike that was almost scary: the same pale face and delicate features (although Spike sensed this girl was no delicate at all), the same long and dark hair, the same evil glint in their eyes. Every gaze in the room was fixed on them.

Drusilla was now telling her about the last massacre they had perpetrated and the young woman listened fascinated. Spike thought about joining the conversation and pointing out some interesting details, but then decided to leave them alone and let them have their girl's chat. It had been a long while since he'd seen Dru with a girlfriend, as she usually ate them up after a few minutes of conversation.

He sat down on a couch, next to this man who was staring mesmerised at the dark witch. Spike snorted, then he thought that he probably looked just as stupid as this bloke when he looked at Dru.

'Interesting girl, don't you think?'

The wizard threw a quick glance at Spike, then returned his gaze to the woman.

'She's the most wonderful creature in the world. And my wife.'

'Newlyweds?'

The wizard looked perplexed.

'Yeah, how did you…?'

'I'm a hundred years old, believe me, I know stuff.'

In that moment both women came along, giggling. Dru looked delighted.

'Spike, this is my new friend. Her name is _Bella_' She let out a giggle 'And she's _wicked_.'

She burst into more giggles. Bella's husband looked seriously worried for her sanity. Spike would have liked to explain him that there was no need to worry, that Dru's sanity had been lost long ago, but then the witch spoke.

'It's a pleasure to meet you, Spike' Her voice suited her perfectly: low and somewhat musical, yet firm and cold. 'I've heard the most amazing things about you. Is it true you've killed two Slayers so far? It must be a record.'

'Well, it's not like the Guinness includes this kind of stuff but yeah, it is.'

She didn't seem to catch the Guinness reference (could these mojo blokes be a little weirder?) but she looked impressed nevertheless. And something told him that it was no easy task to impress this girl.

'Drusilla, this is Rod, my husband. Rod, this is Dru.'

While the poor Rod attempted to make an appropriate comment as Dru babbled like mad, he noticed this young man who was throwing constant glances in their way. He was about Bella's and Rod's age and his face was half hidden not by a mask but by a thick curtain of greasy hair.

'Who's that bloke over there?' He asked the wizard. His wife answered instead.

'That's Sev, a good friend of us since secondary school.'

'He's not the life of the party, is he?'

'Well…no, he's not', Rod admitted, 'but he has other qualities.'

'Such as…?'

'Oooh, I see him' Dru piped up, dreamily. 'He's dark…'

'We are all dark here, pet.'

'Believe me', the wizard said, trying his best to ignore Drusilla, who was now babbling non-sense, 'you don't want to mess up with him.'

Spike thought it was an interesting comment considering it came from someone who had married a psycho.

'I see a baby boy' Dru said in a singsong tone, pointing at the cushion next to Sev's. There was a boy in his late teens lying there that looked as if he wanted to disappear inside the cushion.

'That's my cousin, Reg' Bella explained. 'It's his first real party. I guess he's nervous'. There was a distinct note of disdain in her voice now. In her eyes nervousness led to weakness, and weakness was unacceptable. Before he could ask any more questions (and Dru could babble something else), the witch spoke again.

'I assume you want to see where the real fun is, don't you?'

Dru's eyes shone excitedly.

'I know. It's behind the brown horse.'

Spike glanced at Rod, who was now looking quite terrified of Dru.

'Pet, I think you're scaring them.'

'Oh, not at all' Bella said. 'She's right' And then she pointed at a filthy tapestry on the opposite wall, which had a brown horse on it. Her husband seemed nervous.

'Bella, you think is wise to take them there?'

She looked at him disdainfully.

'Rod, they know more about this stuff than you and me together. Come on, or we'll miss it.'

She led the way to the opposite side of the room. When they reached the tapestry, she pointed at it with her wand. The tapestry disappeared and in its place there was now a door. She opened it and they stepped in, the door closing behind them.

It was a much darker and smaller room, with stone floors. He could see people chained to the walls. They weren't wearing neither robes nor masks, but normal clothes that were ripped and dirty. There were men of all ages, women and children, but they all had the same panicked expression.

There were only a couple of wizards there that turned to look at them. They both had their faces hidden by masks.

'Bella, Rod, what are you…?', began to say the tallest one, but Bella didn't let him finish.

'We are going to have some fun, Evan. Why don't you and Jugson go and take a drink while we are here?'

For a moment it seemed that Evan was going to complain, but then he nodded and took his partner by the arm.

'Come on, Jug, let's leave them alone' He said, and they both exited the room.

As soon as they were gone, Bella turned to Spike and Dru:

'As you might have guessed, this is our torture chamber.'

_Now_ things were getting interesting.

Willow's mouth was open and her eyes were wide in horror.

'You mean they tortured this people for _fun_? That was their idea of a party?'

Spike shifted uncomfortably.

'They were as evil as we were, Red. They might have souls but don't fool yourself: those Death Eaters are as bloodthirsty as any vamp you know. Some of them are even worse. Are you sure you want me to continue?'

She hesitated a second and then nodded, a look of determination on her face.

'If I'm going to fight them, I must know what I'm dealing with. Go on.'

And after taking another gulp of firewhisky, he did so.

----

Bella pointed her wand at a middle-aged man, who winced.

'Let's start with this one.'

'Wait a sec, pet', Spike said 'You're going to use magic?'

She and Rod looked amused.

'Of course I am! There's nothing more powerful than…'

'…the Cruciatus Curse' Spike finished the sentence for her 'Yeah, I know that one, a moron thought it'd be fun casting it on me. His skull turned to pulp after that.'

'But you see', he continued once he was sure he'd got their attention, 'torture it's not just about pain. It's about fear and power too. Honestly, you think this bloke is freaked out because you're pointing a wooden stick at him?' He walked until he was face to face with the man 'Listen, boy, are you scared of this?' He asked, showing him Bella's wand. The man's gaze went from the wand to Spike, and then again to the wand.

'Should I?' He asked in a small voice. The vampire laughed.

'You see? He doesn't know how it works, so he isn't afraid of it. Now tell me' He talked again to the man, 'are you afraid of _this_?'

He'd pulled out a knife from his duster and put it in front of his eyes, which snapped open. The man began to pant, terrified.

'Please, no…I have a family to support…'

Spike smiled.

'You could use your spell, and probably you'd cause him much more pain. But you wouldn't see the horror in his eyes, you wouldn't feel the blood running down your fingers, you wouldn't hear his pathetic begs…Believe me, you'd miss all the fun.'

'Let's teach them, Spike, let's teach our new friends a game!' Dru exclaimed and clapped. Spike looked at her adoringly.

'You want to start, Dru?'

'Yes!' She took his knife and got closer. 'I'll play with this big boy until he cries and cries and asks for his mummy, but his mummy won't come because he's so far away…You want to play with me, big boy?' She asked but did not wait for an answer. She stabbed his chest and he let out a cry of pain.

'Oh no, no, bad boy, you shall not cry like that. I think I'll just cut his tongue.'

Spike decided that he needed both a drink and a cigarette. He left Dru with her new friends, who were learning some interesting means of torture from her, and went straight to the bar. He took a bottle of firewhisky to his lips. It was the greatest thing he'd ever tasted, with the exception of a Slayer's warm blood.

He caught a sudden movement with the corner of his eye and turned round. He was surprised to see Bella's cousin rushing upstairs and the greasy haired man following him. He had a fraction of second to decide. _What the hell. It might be fun_. And he went after them, the bottle still in his hand.

He saw Sev turn a corner, and then disappear. Spike followed him and found a door made of glass that opened into a small inner yard where the both young men were talking in whispers. The vampire hid behind a column and listened.

'What's wrong with you?', snapped the older one. 'You're in a party, you're supposed to be enjoying yourself.'

_Look who's talking, the life of the party himself!_, Spike thought during the thick silence that followed his words.

'But I'm not', the boy said in a small voice.

'Then pretend!' Another tense silence. 'Look, Reg, wasn't this what you wanted, to become a Death Eater?'

'Yes, but…'

'What's the matter, then?'

Reg hesitated. Both Spike and Sev waited impatiently his answer. He finally managed to babble:

'I wanted to, but I've seen what happened to those _Muggle_ children…'

'Who cares? They were just _Muggles_!'

'And I've heard rumours about what's going on in the secret chamber…Have you been there?'

'Yes. It's considered an honour, you know.'

'Y-y-yes, but…they say that the people- I mean, the _Muggles_- in there…'

'Since when do you have a soft spot for the _Muggles_? Or are you taking your brother's route?'

The young boy trembled from both indignation and fury.

'_Never_!'

'Then what is it?'

A full minute passed before Reg was able to mutter his reply, but it was such a low whisper that not even with his sharpened hearing could Spike hear it. The greasy haired man stood in the dark for a moment, his face unfathomable.

'I see. I'll help you with that. Come with me.'

'Where are we going?'

'You'll see.'

Spike watched them get inside and turn the corner, and after a minute he followed them. To his surprise, Sev took him to the tapestry with the brown horse on it. His companion was shaking visibly.

'No, please…'

'Trust me, Reg' He hissed. 'This is the only way to help you.'

And they got into the torture chamber, closely followed by the vampire.

-----

It looked like Dru and her new friends had been having fun in his absence. The man Dru had started with had bleed slowly to death, and she told him she had painted a rainbow with his innards. In the meanwhile Bella had set a woman on fire and watched as she burnt, while her husband had just learnt how much pain a whip could cause. They were telling all this to the greasy haired bloke when he stepped into the room, whereas the boy was growing paler.

'What's wrong with the Cruciatus, Bella?'

She beamed at him.

'Oh, nothing, Sev, but we thought a change would be fun. Oooh, you've brought little Reggy with you… Are you sure he's ready for this?'

'He insisted' Was Spike the only one who noticed the sarcasm in the man's voice?

Apparently, he was. Rod was impressed and Bella looked as if it were her birthday. She took her cousin by the arm, her eyes gleaming with pride.

'Reg, I _knew_ you had it in you! Come on, I'll get you a fresh one to start with. What about that girl over there?'

She pointed at a pretty blonde girl about Reg's age, who wore a panicked expression on her face, which matched the boy's.

'I think you should use the Cruciatus Curse, so you can practise it. But don't worry if it doesn't go well the first time, generally it never does. And especially remember you really have to want to cause pain, otherwise you won't be able to perform it…'

'Bella, I'm sure Reg knows how to perform an Unforgivable Curse or he'd never asked Sev to bring him here… Come on, boy, start.'

Reg stared at the girl who was in front of him. She looked at him imploringly. It was almost heartbreaking. The poor boy, too scared to refuse, too weak to become what he was expected to…What a dilemma. Almost Shakespearean.

He pointed his wand at her and mumbled something in Latin. Nothing happened. He threw a desperate glance at Sev, who only gave him a nod, and then at his cousin, who looked angry. The boy began to sweat and his skin turned green.

'He's weak' Bella hissed to her husband, but both Spike and her cousin were able to hear it.

He looked at the girl once more, who had a faint glint of hope in her eyes, and something in his expression changed. His skin turned red, his face was determinate and his eyes as cold as closed windows. The hand that held the wand was firmer, and this time everyone heard what he said.

'_Crucio!'_

At once the girl began to twitch and jerk violently while she let out anguished cries of pain. She tried to fight it at first but soon surrendered when the ache became too strong to bear. Spike had once been the victim of that curse and he knew she was experiencing a pain beyond nature, a pain ten times worse than death. Her face was twisted and tears rolled down her cheeks, her head hit several times the stone wall, while her whole body was shaking furiously. It was beautiful.

Spike noticed that not everyone's attention was on the jerking girl; Sev's eyes were fixed in Reg. He looked at him and was amazed at the change operated in him.

He no longer looked like a fearful child. His face had turned into stone and there was a maniac gleam in his eyes very much alike to Bella's as he saw the pain he was causing, as he _tasted_ that pain. Oh, yes, Spike remembered how it had felt like the first time that he tortured someone: that wonderful, wicked and tormenting sensation of power that had filled his body for the first time like a drug. Yes, he remembered.

'Stop, Reg' Sev said.

'Yeah, the girl will fall unconscious and no one wants that. It's no fun.'

It took a moment to Bella's words to sink in her cousin's brain. He was too embedded with his newly-found power to pay attention to the rest of the world.

When he managed to stop, the girl's muscles twitched for some seconds more until they relaxed. She seemed dead, but silent tears kept rolling down her face.

'Oh, the poor little girl is in so much pain' Dru said in her baby voice 'Don't worry, little girl, the pain will soon be over.'

Everyone ignored her. Bella jumped to hug her cousin as Rod tapped his back:

'That was great, Reg! And it was your very first time!'

On the other hand, Sev didn't look so impressed. His face was expressionless, but he kept shooting worried glances at the boy, who avoided his gaze.

'Now I'm convinced you'll become a true Death Eater.'

'Well, there's only one way to find out' Spike, who was really bored of the happy family scene, said as he broke in two the firewhisky bottle and handed it to Reg. 'C'mon, kid, take it. Finish what you've started.'

The boy hesitated a mere second and took the bottle. He stared at the sharp broken glass, then shot a glance at the girl and looked at Spike at last. The vampire was surprised to see neither fear nor maniac gleam in his eyes. In fact, there was nothing at all: only death looked back from those empty orbs once full of life.

-----

'So he kept on torturing the poor girl with the broken bottle you gave him?'

Spike sighed and nodded. Willow repressed a shiver.

'If you had seen his eyes', he whispered. 'By that time I had seen death so many times, but never in a living person. Not until then. You see, there was no pleasure in the way he tortured the girl after that. And there wasn't fear, either. There was nothing.'

-----

Severus Snape was standing in the shadows, at the same inner yard where young Regulus Black had asked for his help just half an hour before. And he had really wanted to help him but now, when he remembered the boy's face while torturing that _Muggle_, he thought he might have obtained much more than he had bargained for.

'Enjoying the nocturnal air?'

Snape winced, but it was just that stupid vampire Bella had insisted to bring along.

'You want something?'

The vampire raised a hand and showed him a cigarette.

'Just fancied a smoke. You mind?'

He shrugged. He couldn't care less.

'You know, I've been thinking about that young boy in there. Was Greg his name?'

'_Reg_.'

'Oh, yeah, him. You see, at first he looked so scared and shaky that I thought he wouldn't make it. And then… well, he obviously had a sadistic streak no one had noticed before.'

Snape didn't reply. A wicked smirk was now plastered on the vampire's face.

'Or maybe he didn't have it at all and all you did was to push him even more to the edge. What a shame. It sounded like you really wanted to help him to get over his fears… and all you managed to do was to make him face the horror within himself' The vampire lit his cigarette. 'You know what he looked like when he finished?' He added after a few seconds, looking pensive. 'Shattered. Like broken glass. And you can't fix what's shattered' He smirked. 'I bet he won't last too long as a Death Eater.'

'Shut up.'

'What's the matter, Sev? Did you care for the boy?'

Snape snorted. Yeah, sure.

'No one cares for each other here, vampire. We aren't family, we aren't friends.'

'And what are you then?'

He gave it a thought. What the hell were they? He thought about beautiful Bella and her husband, about Evan and Wilkes, about Avery and so many other people he used to be friends with and how much they had all changed since they'd graduated from Hogwarts… Since they had got their Dark Marks…

'The Dark Lord's slaves', he replied simply. The vampire gave him a knowing smile and patted his shoulder.

'It looks like you've got it at last, Sev. You're a smart kid, maybe you'll last a little while longer.'

Snape merely glared at him and walked away with the vampire's laughter ringing in his ears.

------

Drusilla joined Spike at the yard and looked at the black sky.

'Look, there are stars… thousands of them…'

He smiled at her and bit the retort: there was no need to tell her that it was cloudy and it was impossible to see one single star.

'You had fun, didn't you, Princess?'

'Oh, yeah, Bella is such a nice girl to play with. I like her. Can I turn her?'

'Hmm, I'm not sure she'd like that and after seeing what she is capable of, I wouldn't make her angry. But I can get you a new pet.'

'Oh, you're so kind!'

There was a pause and Dru added, in a whisper:

'I see things tonight, Spike…The moon is singing in my ear…'

'And what is the moon singing about, pet?' He asked, not really interested. Dru's eyes widened.

'She sings about Bella…She says the darkness will engulf her…'

'I think it already has, luv.'

'And she sings about her friends. Some are going to die, others will get lost… Only a few will remain faithful to their master. Oh, no!' She cried, grabbing his arm. 'I see it, I see it!'

'What do you see?', Spike demanded, worried.

'The Dark One will fall and the light will return, and all our fun will be over. Oh, it's awful!'

Feeling relieved, Spike put an arm around her shoulders.

'Don't worry, pet. If the fun is over here, we'll go somewhere else.'

Her face was lightened with happiness.

'Can it be Prague? I like Prague.'

'Anywhere you want, my Princess. Anywhere.'

-----

'Oh'. It was all what Willow managed to say after Spike had finished his story. 'No wonder you didn't want to tell me.'

He sighed and left his empty glass on the wooden table.

'And it's not even one of the worst stories.' He hesitated a moment. 'What are you going to do now?'

She looked taken aback.

'Me? I don't know. Probably Dumbledore already knows about this. And it's not like I've got a clean record either, is it?'

Willow paid for the drinks and got out of the inn, but Spike remained inside. Something had caught his eye: a greasy haired head in the opposite corner.

'Hey' He said, making the Potions Master to wince.

'Do you always do that?'

'When I'm in the mood.' Spike sat in front of him. 'I see you had the same idea than I' He said, pointing at the firewhisky bottle. Snape shrugged.

'You remember it, don't you?'

'Course. Can't forget any of it. And believe me, you aren't the only one who wants to drown himself in a bottle of whisky.'

Snape sneered, and the vampire stared at him. He looked so cynical and hopeless.

'You shouldn't feel so bad. It's been a long time, and now you're in the good side. I've done more terrible stuff and I haven't broken down, have I? Besides, at least you tried to help the kid. Not the best way possible, but…'

The wizard snorted.

'As if it mattered' His voice was harsh and dull. 'No, you were right: all I managed to do was to push him over the edge. I made him see the evil inside him. And that killed him.'

'What… what happened to him?' Spike asked, not sure whether he wanted to know. The man eyed his half-empty glass before answering.

'To Regulus? He tried to get out from the Death Eaters a couple of months after that night, and he was killed. Probably by Bellatrix. I… I switched sides shortly after that.'

'And the others?'

For some reason, he felt like he needed to know what had happened to those young men and woman in all those years, even if he had the feeling he could easily guess the answer.

'They were in prison until last year, when they escaped. Now they are with the Dark Lord.' Snape took a sip of his drink. 'What about your girlfriend, the nutter?'

Spike shrugged.

'I don't know. We broke up a couple of years ago.'

'What a shame.'

'Yeah.'

They both fell silent, lost in past memories. Thinking about all the terrible things they'd done. Of course, Spike's list was much longer than his, but that didn't mean Snape hadn't a lot of stuff to feel guilty about.

'We've done so much evil', he whispered. Spike looked at him, a little taken aback.

'But now we are both on the good side, aren't we? It has to mean something'. The wizard didn't answer, so he went on. 'I mean, at least we're trying to fix all the awful things we've done. It must count.'

Willow called him from the outside, and Spike got up. He waited to see if Snape would say something else, but the man was staring dully at the bottle again.

Then he heard it, so low that he thought he might have imagined it.

'You know what, vampire? We will never be able to take back all we did, we'll never fix it. You were right, that night. Certain things cannot be repaired. They shatter, like broken glass.'

'And shattered they remain, no matter how hard we try to repair them'.

Once he was outside the Three Broomsticks, Spike gazed through the window and saw the gloomy figure of Professor Snape glaring at his empty glass. As he followed Willow to the carriage, he couldn't help wondering who had been broken the most that fateful night: that poor girl tortured to death, the boy who would be killed by the same cousin that had praised him, or this dark man who dwelled on past faults and killed himself softly with bitterness and firewhisky. He guessed he'd never know the answer.


End file.
